How to Find Fulfillment in Life as A Special Needs Parent?
It was a SOMBER day, internally, as I faced the "hard-core" reality. I GRIEVED Over-the-Fact that my life would never be normal! It was a gigantic "bitter-sweet" pill!
Yet, I had two options. I could choose to live a defeated life or allow for these ashes to be turned into beauty! At that moment, eight years ago, I knew what choice I needed to make. It was not about Me! This was BIGGER than me!
I forced myself to swallow that huge pill, and never looked back! Although times have been tough, these last nine years of my son's life, have been a blessing! Our story has touched and inspired many!
"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have."
My heart is to encourage and share briefly about how to live a fulfilling life as a Special Needs Parent. I empathize and recognize that everyone's reality is not the same. Some have it harder than others.
However, hopefully my "tiny" nuggets of wisdom and experience will inspire you, to embrace HOPE!
1. Perspective is SUPER important!
That does not mean burying your head in the sand! Ha! The reality of what many of us go through, is hard. Life can be very unpredictable. However, you can choose each day to make the best out of it. If you have a bad day, on the bright side, TOMORROW you can START OVER! Sometimes your emotions will lie and YELL at you! It may take some time to get used to changing your perspective. Take it one day at a time. You can do it! Eventually it gets EASIER!
2. Live Life on PURPOSE!
Purpose is defined as "The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or goal:intention." You were not “created” to barely exist and allow life to drag you daily! There is a purpose and a reason that you still have breath in your body! Even if your purpose during this season is to focus mainly on tending to the needs of your child or loved-one. You better give them top-notch care, like they are at a Five-Star Hotel or Hospital! Just kidding! Ha! Often, when we get our eyes off ourselves, we begin to see others in our sphere of influence, who could use a friend!
3.Take Care of Yourself!
Yikes! I know that is easier said than done. However, when you neglect yourself, it impacts every area of your life! I know you're probably yelling at me saying, "How am I supposed to have time to focus on myself? When I am busy tending to my child or loved-one!" Believe me, I get it, remember I understand, I am on your team! For almost the first five-years of Malachi's life we didn't really have help. My husband and I did it ALL alone and we both worked during some of those seasons. However, I realized years ago that I had to make a plan and be intentional with embracing a life of wellness. Although I am a Wellness Coach and Fitness Instructor, after having Malachi, I fell FAR off the map. All of the chaos and demands of tending to a Special Needs Child was a huge transition! Anyways, I encourage you to start off small and embrace healthy habits. Don’t worry! I will write a future blog on the practical application of how you can take care of yourself!
4. Set GOALS, Learn something NEW!
Having goals and accomplishments can give you a sense of satisfaction and something to look to! I am not saying the following to brag. Ha! Over the years, I have learned, worked on, or became a licensed Zumba Instructor, Ballroom Dance Instructor, Brand Ambassador, ASL, Spanish, Sewing, published several Books, learned how to do Voice-overs, started Podcasts, tried new Careers, did Photo Shoots, and dozens of other things. A few were a Big FAIL! Ha! However, I did accomplish many goals. Don’t Worry! I am not challenging you to set a billion goals! Just a HUNDRED! Ha! Seriously, start with one to a few goals.
What are you passionate about? What have you wanted to learn or improve in your life?
5. Utilize your resources, ask for help!
Although I call myself "Special Needs SuperMom" it would be extremely hard to live a fulfilling life, if I had no help or resources. I can’t do it all by myself! My husband is amazing, his willingness to tend to our son, so that I can focus on myself or goals, at times, is Priceless! Since my child started going to a Pediatric Prescribed Extended Daycare (medical daycare) in Florida that has been a Game-CHANGER! We are able to have more time to ourselves, spend quality time with our oldest son, while Malachi is tended to by trained professionals. In addition, all of the Medical Care, and Nurse Case Managers help with different tasks. I know that each state is different. However, most states have programs and resources in place that may be helpful. If you don't know where to start, research online or call your child's insurance company, Primary Care Physician, Disability Organizations, local Schools, the Health Department or Churches in your area. Some offer periodically Respite Care, Home Health Aides, and other programs.
6. “Count Your BLESSINGS”, As “the Old Folks” Used to Say!
We all have at least one reason to be thankful! Do you have a Roof over your head? Do you have food to eat? My child has a LONG WAY to GO! However, he has come a long way since birth! Instead of Focusing on “What he can’t do” or “How things aren’t the way I desire”, I have learned how to focus on the small Victories, Breakthroughs, and Accomplishments in Malachi’s life over the years. When life gets tough, I remind myself how far he has come! We are stronger family because of what we have endured!
7. FAITH and HOPE have been instrumental in my life!
There have been times "I have Thrown in the Towel!" There have been times "I had to pick the towel back up!" Ha! My faith and hope in God has been an anchor to me during the darkest moment! It's the very substance that sustains and fuels me to keep pressing forward!
I know it may seems like your life is a literal “Nightmare!” However, Nightmares don’t last always!
Special Needs Parents Are SUPER Heroes!
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